We are humans and as humans we are bound to make mistakes, regret decisions and go through humiliating experiences. We cannot escape these situations how much ever we try and if we did successfully manage to avoid these situations, then we haven't lived life at all.
I have gone through an excruciatingly painful event in the recent past. It was painful and insulting and at the same time has given me an insight into my weaknesses which I was not aware existed in me. I was so lost and confused that I lost sight of who I was and what I was doing. I was so under confident and insecure and started questioning everything and everybody. It was painful not only to me but to the loved ones whom I was punishing for no fault of theirs.
It was my mistake, my choices and my life. I was subconsciously always aware of what the outcome would be. I was dreading it all through but when it actually hit me, it was like a lightening struck me with an amazing speed. My whole world started crashing. I started questioning my own existence. First few days, I was in constant denial. My whole energies were either invested in sleeping or in crying or reliving those painful memories. But after a week, my sanity slowly found place with me. It is okay to feel ashamed. It is alright to feel upset. After all, that is what makes us humans. This is what differentiates us from inanimate objects.
I was the one who made these choices full well knowing the consequences. So, if I say that I do not deserve it, then I am not only an ignoramus but also a naive girl who was only fooling herself. I chose to put emotions over reason. I have given the other person or events a power to control me. That was my undoing. I have placed them above my own existence.But, now it is time to change it all.I have the power. And I have to do it consciously. If I want to turn around my life, it should genuinely come from within the depths of my heart and not like a wavering emotional turnaround.
I should stay true to the course and religiously follow all the dictates I give to myself . Good things would not happen if I happen to cheat anytime in the process. This is a slow and intricate process and I should not succumb to any pressures or wants anytime in between. Whenever emotions bother you, think of the consequences they envisage immediately. And to counteract this very ill, I am going to keep a track of my progress and celebrate and laud myself when I do all that is expected of me.
So here's to new beginnings and new tomorrows coz' there is always light at the end of a dark tunnel!
I have gone through an excruciatingly painful event in the recent past. It was painful and insulting and at the same time has given me an insight into my weaknesses which I was not aware existed in me. I was so lost and confused that I lost sight of who I was and what I was doing. I was so under confident and insecure and started questioning everything and everybody. It was painful not only to me but to the loved ones whom I was punishing for no fault of theirs.
It was my mistake, my choices and my life. I was subconsciously always aware of what the outcome would be. I was dreading it all through but when it actually hit me, it was like a lightening struck me with an amazing speed. My whole world started crashing. I started questioning my own existence. First few days, I was in constant denial. My whole energies were either invested in sleeping or in crying or reliving those painful memories. But after a week, my sanity slowly found place with me. It is okay to feel ashamed. It is alright to feel upset. After all, that is what makes us humans. This is what differentiates us from inanimate objects.
I was the one who made these choices full well knowing the consequences. So, if I say that I do not deserve it, then I am not only an ignoramus but also a naive girl who was only fooling herself. I chose to put emotions over reason. I have given the other person or events a power to control me. That was my undoing. I have placed them above my own existence.But, now it is time to change it all.I have the power. And I have to do it consciously. If I want to turn around my life, it should genuinely come from within the depths of my heart and not like a wavering emotional turnaround.
I should stay true to the course and religiously follow all the dictates I give to myself . Good things would not happen if I happen to cheat anytime in the process. This is a slow and intricate process and I should not succumb to any pressures or wants anytime in between. Whenever emotions bother you, think of the consequences they envisage immediately. And to counteract this very ill, I am going to keep a track of my progress and celebrate and laud myself when I do all that is expected of me.
So here's to new beginnings and new tomorrows coz' there is always light at the end of a dark tunnel!
No comments:
Post a Comment