Revenge

Getting cheated hurts and more so, if its the one we love who cheats us. The pain and agony is indescribable.
People ask us to move on, but moving on is not easy. The memories haunt us day in and out. Its not so much about the person but the pain they have bestowed upon us that hurts us more.

All have asked me to forgive and get on with my life but I cannot seem to. Why should I forgive him for what he has done? He has traumatized and scarred me for life and how can I simply let him go without even making an attempt to make him suffer? I am not the old sati savitri types. I want my justice and he has to pay for his deeds.

There was a time when he made me question my sanity. I was so in love with him that I believed every word he ever uttered and the end point was he made me a sacrificial sheep and for that I cannot ever forgive him.

I never wanted to see someone hurt in all my life but I want him hurt and hurt bad. Him, his sister, his mother....all the people who made me suffer, I wish they fall in the same pit they pushed me into.

Its been bloody 3 years and I still am unable to get out of the trauma. I think I will get my peace of mind only when he is punished for his deeds. Why is that the people who are so close to me seem to ignore this very fact. Why should I be patient? Has 3 years brought any change in his attitude? He is the same old jackass that he always was and there is not going to be any change in the future as well.

I need closure. I need comfort. I need peace. Period. All of it only can be attained only if he pays for what he has done to me. The very thought of his punishment brings a smile onto my face and I can feel the old me returning back to me. Who says revenge is bad? I say its justice, not revenge. And he very well deserves what I have laid out for him and his family. God I hate him with all my heart and soul and I wish he and the people associated with him face the worst kind of pain possible.

Amen!!

What inspires me.

'if' by rudyard kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Learning to love my life!

Live life your way. All you get is one life. So, make the best of the time you have got on this earth. Life is like a bubble...it might burst any single minute. So pick your socks up and get ready to live every moment of it.

Life throws pebbles at you sometimes when you least expect them but that's how it is! Life is full of surprises. Some good, some bad, some terribly ugly...but try to salvage the situation and make the best of whats left of it.

Stop trying to impress anyone...as rude as it sounds... they're not worth it and its the fact. Live life for your own self. Please your self and love your self and if you are unable to be happy with your self you cant make others happy as well.

Militha, do what you think is right for you. Stop living for others. Start living life and your own way this time!

To be free!

I wish to be free..
Free like a bird...
No bondages
No responsibilities
Free to explore
Free to create a new me
Free to travel
Free to write
No one chaining me down from achieving new heights or experimenting with new things
I want to live
live life my way
Make mistakes
Fall and rise back again
Need no one holding me back
Need no one showing me down
I need life back, my own terms!